I contacted a dancehall this week about the possibility of playing at their place. I was informed that female artists don’t do well in their COUNTY. If you’ve followed me at all the past several years, I’ve written about this before and harping on this topic is not the intent of this particular blog.
But I have to say it took me back. I was respectful and politically correct in my response. I informed the person that my particular belief is that the issue has to do with ARTISTS that are not well known in their area – that it does not have to do with an entire county having a problem with hearing women singers (I have no doubt that if Miranda Lambert or Taylor Swift held a concert at that dancehall, that the place would be packed). Regardless. . . .
I have an almost 12 year old daughter. She is on the verge of adolescence. And since we are in the year 2011, she deals with adolescent issues already. I, like all of the mothers who have gone on before me, struggle with how to guide her into womanhood. How do I help her accept herself for who she is? How do I guide her through a patriarchal world that I myself still struggle to understand?
I have a 15 month old daughter. She is the opposite contrast to her older sister. Her older sister has dark, chocolate brown eyes, brown hair and chestnut skin in the summertime. The baby is like a live version of your favorite baby doll from childhood – wide, bright, summer sky blue eyes and blonde curly hair that falls into her eyes. She loves every part of life – she doesn’t judge or worry about anything. She breathes in and out and smiles at just existing. She knows nothing about the worries that her older sister feels. She is who she is and feels completely free to be that. One day I will share with her the secrets that I have shared with her older sister, that I continue to struggle to understand myself.
I will explain that a woman’s body changes constantly throughout her life and that she should love herself no matter what stage she is at. I will remind her of how beautiful she is – and ask her to focus every day on a favorite part of her body and try to expand that list of favorite things about herself. I will inform her that uniqueness carries much more value in the world than most people ascribe to it. And I will tell her with all of my passion that she must be herself no matter what other people (even the people MOST close to her in her life) think.
I have learned a lot from my children, and, not being prejudiced, mostly from my daughters - maybe because they take me back to being a little girl. They remind me of the days when I didn’t have a care in the world – when I didn’t notice what I looked like or what I looked like through others’ eyes. I made up songs. I played with dolls. I sang as loud as I could in church. I was just me.
I have a rebellion that has been too long welling up inside of me. Although I’m very successful at conforming, I do not like it. I see beauty in every person – in every facet of humanity. I like variety of life – of music, of art, of people. I like myself. I like the music I write – whatever genre someone thinks it belongs in.
Growing up, I wished many times that I was a man. I noticed as a pre-adolescent and adolescent that men had more privileges than women (reminder here: I was a preacher’s daughter in a fundamentalist, highly conservative Christian denomination). I saw things that I could not do because I was a female.
What I’m saying is that I will tell my daughters to rejoice in their womanhood – no matter what that “holds them back” from. No matter what prejudice is made. No matter what they are assumed to be.
I’m glad I’m a woman.
In honor of the spirit of womanhood and being yourself, I'm sharing 2 things - one is a song I wrote called "Pretty Girl". Download it for free:
Download 10 Pretty Girl.mp3 (10957.2K)
Lyrics:
What a beautiful girl you say , “She’s almost beaming.”
And you think because you’re friends, you know her feelings.
But does her smile hide those eyes full of longing
For more than beauty and something deeper than belonging?
Cause she’s just a pretty girl to you - nothing more could you see
Cause you can’t take the time to ask her if she’s broken or she’s lonely
Yes that pretty girl is beautiful but she has a lot to hide.
You think you know her well, but you can’t tell she’s dying inside.
When she walks into the room, she’s always laughing.
And that smile she wears so bright must mean she’s happy.
But if you could see inside her heart, you’d see a stranger.
So don’t judge someone you don’t know or give advice to try and change her.
Cause she’s just a pretty girl to you - nothing more could you see
Cause you can’t take the time to ask her if she’s broken or she’s lonely
Yes that pretty girl is beautiful but she has a lot to hide.
You think you know her well, but you can’t tell she’s dying inside
The other is a video of one of my favorite songs that Dolly Parton wrote. Yeah, the lyrics are dated, but it's got a beautiful melody and the spirit of the song has always captured me:
Well coming from a male perspective; I think any man with this view of Women, is a piece of CRAP and a COWARD!!!
Great Blog Leslie and I'm with ya on all that.
Posted by: Ricky | July 08, 2011 at 01:05 PM
I couldn't get the download link to work, but I'll buy it on CD if you ever get around to putting it in a CD. Nice lyrics!
I hate that XM merged Willie's Place and The Roadhouse because the Texas artists have disappeared and it was my chief means of discovering new music (since all of my radio listening time is in the car). Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next album
Posted by: Paul W Dennis | July 23, 2011 at 07:11 AM