Miss Leslie

One Good Thing a Day: Day 10

KEEP MOVING

I realize I am probably contradicting yesterday’s blog. . . . Welcome to my world. I am a walking contradiction. . . I think it fits in with my eastern philosophical bent. . . yin and yang y’all. . . .

Before my cardio class, the instructor always tells us that if we need to take a break – do it. But don’t stop moving. It’s bad for your heart. Walk around if you need to, but don’t stop.

I don’t think I’m manic depressive, but I am an incredibly driven person. And when I get fixated on something - look out. The downside to this is that I push so hard, I usually burnout. And stop. I mean, a dead stop. The trouble with this is that there’s little motivation to continue. It takes awhile for me to catch my breath and get back into whatever it is I started.

I’ve shared this before in another blog, but I’ve instructed my kids on how to beat a riptide. It’s all about which direction you’re swimming. Swim to the side, past the rip current and then the ocean will take you back to shore. Unfortunately, the way most people die in a riptide is when they furiously swim towards the shore in the middle of the current.  Well trained athletes have lost their lives from working so hard IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.

We have to find that balance of pace and direction. Don’t fight so furiously for something that you get overwhelmed by the fight. And know which way to go. Are you spinning your wheels for something that’s not really you? Could you put your resources into the same thing you’re doing, but just in a different way?

When I first started my band, I booked anything that I could. Didn’t matter where or what it was. It worked for awhile – got my name out there some, got me in front of people. But after a few years I realized that I was dissatisfied with playing venues that didn’t get me. I stopped booking those. I now play either for places that really want me or that I love to play. I am much happier and I feel like I’m finally connecting with the audience that gets me.

As I said yesterday, you have to know when to quit. But keep moving – change direction if you need to. Or maybe slow down your pace for awhile.  Look back on how far you’ve come and realize that you’re not going to get everything immediately. And maybe you never will have what you really want. . . . but you can sure as hell enjoy doing it. Cause it’s all about the journey, eh?

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 9

KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT

Talk to anyone who’s ever exercised with a sports injury and they’ll tell you about pushing yourself and knowing when to quit so that you don’t get re-injured or make the injury worse.

It’s not really quitting. It’s not really an ending. It’s a sidestep. It’s a break. It’s a detour. It’s a stop in the middle of the road.

Life is filled with endings. And when they happen we feel like EVERYTHING has ended. Or we reach some roadblock in our Life’s pathway and we think, “It’s over. This is the end.”

But the reality is that we do not believe in endings. Humanity has tried to explain the end of Life and more often than not, come up with an explanation for a life after this one. And during our earthly existence, our endings are simply a stop in our Roads. They are a way for us to change direction and move down a different path.

The end does not have to be the end. You bury a loved one or finalize a divorce and you feel like your world and your life is over. But what you are really doing is stopping. You are taking an opportunity to change direction and find where else in your Life that you can extend the Love that you have been giving to someone else.

My Dad has always been in sales of some sort. He was a preacher for 35 years and then went on to sell insurance. He always said that no never means no – just not now.

We have to stop. We have to reassess. We have to look at something that is not working for us. We have to know when to quit. We have to know when we are facing an ending. To continue along a path that has ended is a waste of time, energy and heart. To continue to mourn a lost love or loved one only keeps us on a path that has ended. What if we quit? What if we took that chance and followed a new path – one filled with hope and possibilities? What if we took our Love that we are giving to someone who cannot accept it to someone who really needs it?

So Quit. Be a quitter. “End” it. And go on to something that revives your own spirit, and in the best of worlds will support or renew someone else’s.

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 8

THE SPARK

Everything creative in my life starts with a spark – some initial inspiration that pulls me down a new path. I love it when I get that spark. When my brain and my heart pull together and follow that light that just got turned on.

Life is not some constant spark. We light fires for warmth, for sustenance, for vision. They are not started constantly throughout the day – just at those times of necessity. There are times for creating and there are times for just living. Those of us that are creative forget that at times. Sometimes you just have to cook, clean, do laundry and wash the dishes. Sometimes you have to just go to work and kids’ baseball games and the gym.

Ah, but that spark. . . . that blessed spark that reminds us of the pure joy of Life.  That spark that brings out our heart and soul and passion.  It is a gift. Something to treasure, listen to and follow.

Some days I am too caught in the living to follow the spark. I write down an idea, but that moment is too soon gone – my heart ignores the spark and extinguishes the flame. More laundry. More cooking. More Life.

But when you can follow the spark – whether it is writing a song or falling in Love or talking about a great new idea – that is a Gift.

If I can get the gift of some quiet time today, I think I will write this song that I was given a couple of hours ago. Inspired by words of a friend, it hit me with a flood of melody, form and lyrics. It’s ready. Just need to put it together and write it down.

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 7

PERSEVERANCE

One year for Thanksgiving, my Mom made little notes and put them on everyone’s placemat. Each note said some quality that my Mom thought stood out for each person.

Mine was perseverance. Imagine that.

I come from a long line of relatives with tenacity. My father was a preacher for 35 years (if that doesn’t require perseverance, I don’t know WHAT does). His mother was a Tupperware saleswoman – winning all kinds of awards and stuff. She never met a stranger (if you know my father, you see this quality shining in him), and she always had some side project going. She made teddy bears out of quilts, baby blankets, afghans, and god-knows-what-else through the years.

The doctors say when they repaired her heart for the last time that it had gotten so used to beating strong against her blockages, that when they completed the bypasses, the heart just fell apart in the operating room.

Looking back and now seeing her qualities that live inside of me, it doesn’t surprise me.

Perseverance is more than willpower. It is some kind of innate quality that drives everything that you are. You can be up against the worst odds and obstacles, and damned if you are not gonna hang in there and keep trying harder.

The challenge of this quality, of course, is one day falling apart. . . . . But you get right back up and keep going.

I have struggled my entire life with low self-esteem. It is difficult for me to think of myself as what I actually AM. It is a struggle I will always have. But I can say that I am truly proud of my ability to persevere. It is a gift that has gotten me thru heartache, disappointment, and lack of success.

And the irony of perseverance is that you do succeed. You may not reach career goals or become some renowned person, but there is some feeling close to success that makes you realize that you have reached beyond yourself, your limits and your abilities to reach new heights as a person.

And is that not success?

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 6

CONNECTION

Trust me. I’ll revisit this topic over and over. . . . but every day that I interact with another human being I am reminded of connection.

We were not meant to be alone. We were not meant to be stranded on an island or lost in space. We were designed for connection, inspiration and creation.

I have played with some amazing musicians in my life. Truly. I have played with Itzhak Perlman. I have played with the Houston Symphony. I have played with amazingly talented bluegrass, folk, country and rock musicians.

And there is nothing like that feeling of connecting with someone else on a musical level – whether it is someone that you consider to be a hero or someone you are mentoring.

I played music this past weekend with 4 great musicians. We had an amazing time and the crowd dug it. As a musician it is what you live for. As a human, it is what you were designed for.

Let’s get together. Remember what we are here for.

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 5

PEANUTS AND COKE

Speaking of Redneck. . . . my Dad (who was born and raised in Tennessee) introduced me to the truly Southern combination of peanuts and coke.

It’s all about taste, isn’t it? You like squash. You don’t like okra. You hate veggies. You want your steak medium rare. You want your Subway sandwich toasted.

So why is ANYONE trying to please EVERYONE?

I’m putting my peanuts in my coke and everyone else can stick it. ;-)

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 4

PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

Small steps are undervalued. We begin to walk with small steps. We climb mountains with small steps. We make it safely across ice with small steps.

Some days that is all that you can do. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. It works. You find yourself in the middle of a storm of life – some heartbreak or loss has brought you to your knees. The wind has been knocked out of you. You cannot go on.

All you need is that one small step. And you find that you can take another. And another. And another.

Yes, there’s still pain. Yes, there’s still grief.

But you are walking. And one day. . . maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next year. . . . But one day – you will run.

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 3

A GREAT SONG

There’s nothing like that moment when you hear that song – the song that makes your heart skip a beat, gives you chillbumps and puts you on the edge of your seat. The song finishes and you say out loud to whoever is near you, “THAT is a great song.”

I heard a great song last night. I was at Dosey Doe watching a songswap between Bonnie Bishop and Deryl Dodd.  They are in town doing a Songwriter’s Day Camp at Dosey Doe for high school kids – teaching young people how to songwrite.  Susan Gibson is also a part of that and happened to be sitting right behind me.

Bonnie Bishop sang a song that she wrote when she was going through her divorce. The song is called “Not Cause I Wanted To”.  The song is on Bonnie Raitt’s new album.

She finished the song and I turned around to Susan and both of us at the same time said, “Shit.”

Now THAT is a GREAT song.

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 2

WATERMELON

Sounds are not the only sensations that bring back memories. . . .

Watermelon will always remind me of the time we lived in Louisville, KY. Mom did her best to keep Dad from buying us junk food, and one of the few naturally sweet things we all loved was watermelon. We’d set the cut quarters on newspaper on the table and dive in.

What always fascinated me was that Dad would throw out the rinds in the back of the property we lived on. After a couple of years, we had our own watermelon patch, much to everyone’s surprise.

Funny how that works, isn’t it? You throw out something unusable – something you consider to be garbage – and find new growth. You start a garden among the refuse.

I don’t look at negative things in my life in the same way. I used to work for a restaurant manager that described “bad situations” that occurred in the restaurant as “opportunities”. They were opportunities to make a “guest” (as he called them) a guest for life.  If I have something in my life that needs throwing out, then my attitude is, “Good. Go.”

You see, I have a garden to grow. . . . 

 

One Good Thing a Day: Day 1

ONE GOOD THING A DAY: TOLERANCE

OK Country Music Superfreaks – I know the first thought that entered your mind when you read the word Tolerance was Alcohol. . . . Or maybe Prejudice. . . . . aren’t we predictable?

I’ve been taking this cardio class at the Y and working out 3-5 times a week. Nevermind why. . . . I took about a week and a half off while I was on vacation and noticed something interesting when I got back. I was NOT starting at ground zero. My body had started something already that was still built up in my system. My muscles had not deteriorated back to square 1 after a week and a half absence. Granted, I was sore on day 1. But not like day 1 several weeks ago.

I thought about that buildup effect. . . . in my day job, I work with a lot of drawings for steel castings. They always have limits set for tolerances. This is the outside limit set for how far off the dimensions can be from the drawing specs.

We HAVE to stretch ourselves. We have to grow beyond the squawling, crying, demanding self-centered baby and reach adulthood. Along the way we learn patience, forgiveness, restraint, and a host of other qualities that emanate from Love. . . . well hopefully we do.

I remember learning patience. I learned it in a big way with my firstborn, beautiful baby girl named Hannah. She turned about 18 months and entered the terrible twos. She did not leave the tantrums behind until she was about 5. I could look into her eyes and see a change come over her face. (I seriously think I know where tribal cultures get “demon possession” from.) That tantrum was coming and there was not a darn thing you could do about it. For about 20 minutes she would scream. I learned to ask her every few minutes if she was done - usually sitting in the middle of the mall or the grocery store or some other public place that would only heighten my stress. After about 20 minutes, she would say she was done, crawl in my lap and I would hold her til she was ready to move on with the next thing (usually the checkout counter).

Granted, I never got to the point that I didn’t feel tension or stress, but as time went on, I got used to them. My tolerance for stress and for her tantrums expanded. She didn’t change. I grew.

Too often I tell myself that I can’t take anymore. I can’t handle this anymore. I can’t do this. Etc, etc. If we could only see that we need to extend our tolerances and realize that our limits are not figures in black and white set down by an engineer. We are much more adaptable than we realize and much more capable of growth than we can possibly imagine.