I went thru a period of time from my 20s thru my 30s where I had few female friends in my life. Life for me was about work, church and family and little else.
Starting my 40s has been rewarding in more ways than I ever thought possible. Some of it has to do with the wisdom that comes from years of knowledge, experience and understanding of one’s Self, but I believe that a big help for me has come from the company of women.
Some of my girlfriends are my age, a couple are younger and most are older. They bring to my life the same years of knowledge, experience and understanding but from a different Life, temperament and persona. The result is a wealth of love, heart and soul at my fingertips.
We share similar experiences with relationships with men. Most of us are nurturers and rescuers. We tend to look for the same things – and crash and burn on the same things too. We understand our weaknesses and shortfalls and we accept them. We find most times that we are not offered the same acceptance in return from our male “companions”. We blame ourselves for the failed relationships but help each other realize we can’t take on all of the blame. We see our patterns repeat and can’t seem to break away. And then some of us do – and we applaud them and find encouragement to try to break out of our own patterns.
We share similar experiences with our children. Our nurturing sides make us great mothers – but critical of ourselves. We share the paths that we have been on – that we are all walking along a road that mothers have walked along since the beginning of time. We are just going through the same hardships, heartaches and celebrations. We can get through the bad days and rejoice with each other through the great ones.
We share similar experiences with other women. We struggle with the comparisons that are constantly made in a culture that values materialism and things that are easily seen like money and outward beauty. We fight the comparisons. We wage war against a machine by focusing on physical and mental health and loving our Selves for who we ARE and love each other for the same thing. We remember that we are not against each other – we are sisters and try to lift each other up.
We share similar experiences with our Selves. Our relationships to our Selves finds just as many struggles as the relationships with our men, children and friends. We talk to each other and become the positive messages that we should listen to and encourage each other to drown out the negative. We remind each other to love our uniqueness and individuality and strive only to cultivate that so that we grow more and thrive. Not just survive.
We have a vast well of strength that rarely runs out. We find that we are empowered and renewed among our women friends. We supply each other with empathy, sympathy, care, concern, discipline . . . . Love. We chastise each other for the same things we chastise within ourselves. We understand that we are a work in progress and we love watching our own progression and encourage it in the women around us. We accept where we are because we see where we have been and we know where we are going in the future.
In the company of women, I am stronger. I have begun to feel that “I am enough”.