When I really started letting go with my songwriting and writing the songs that would become the “Between the Whiskey and the Wine” album, my therapist said that she felt that the songs were a window into my subconscious and that if I started listening to my lyrics as writing about my Self instead of someone else, that it might reveal more to me about what my soul was searching for.
It was life changing.
You Left Me a Long Time Ago
“You’ve forgotten how to love me, you don’t even take the
To understand this broken heart of mine
Well I won’t try to make excuses but there’s one small fact I know
That you left me a long time ago.”
I had. I had left myself. I had just ignored parts of me and given up. I re-read the songs I had written and started understanding more of what was going on with me.
After the Storm (a song on the new album)
“And after the storm – when there’s only broken pieces
And shattered 2 hearts can forget all the reasons
That tore everything apart and scattered all our feelings
Just wait for the calm, when the hurting is done after the storm.”
I beat myself up constantly. It’s something I’ve done ever since I can remember. I used to pray to God every night to forgive me for stealing a piece of bubble gum from the candy store. I was 8. I had stolen the gum when I was 5. . . . I have an issue with forgiveness that I won’t go into here. It is an elusive thing for me that I don’t know if I will ever reconcile. . . . But when I am in that storm – in the midst of that personal turmoil – I forget about the calm. I forget that peace WILL come. I forget that storms never last (“do they, baby?”).
Wait. Look inside. Answers are there. Maybe they are not surfacing now. But the key is to look inside. So many of us focus on our outward circumstances – we are broke. Our significant other doesn’t love us anymore or has left us. Our child is sick or is destroying their life with poor choices. We look at these things and neglect to see that they are an opportunity for our own personal growth. LOOK INSIDE. See how to free yourself from your own personal prisons that YOU have created. That spouse cannot unlock those doors. That child cannot help you. You MUST help YOURSELF.
Look inside. Maybe there will not be some final victory. But you will learn. You will change. And you will grow.LISTEN to "After the Storm". The new CD is coming 8-13-13. It's called "Lucky".