Miss Leslie

Miss Leslie wins CMA of Texas award

I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to the CMA of Texas for giving me the Johnny Gimble Fiddle Player of the Year at the 2019 CMA of Texas Awards show. What an honor.

https://cmaoftexas.com/ 

Miss Leslie Teams Up Once Again with the Houston Grand Opera

Check it out - Houston Grand Opera Facebook Announcement

Condolences

I would like to send out my heartfelt condolences to the Byler and Ackerman families. I was honored to get to play the song, "Cowboy Take Me Away", as Bailee went down the aisle on Saturday, November 3, 2018 in Uvalde, TX. I found out yesterday evening that the helicopter that was taking them away crashed a few miles away. The newlyweds and the pilot were all killed in the crash.

I cannot imagine the sorrow of all of their friends and families. It has affected me deeply and I can only wish them some peace and comfort at this time.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/us/texas-newlyweds-helicopter-crash/index.html

Be Excellent Not Perfect

I used to have someone that would criticize me every time I did a song for the first time. The solo was messed up. I didn’t know the words. I didn’t sing it well. Blah. Blah. The first time you do anything, it's never perfect. Whether it's a kiss or a date or a dance.  It takes time and practice. But more than anything it takes enveloping yourself into the song, the person, the act – connecting with it and understanding it. Allowing yourself to give in a bit and let it take over – but not so much that you lose that sense of yourself. It’s becoming part of it and it becoming part of you.

I had a musician that I played with for a long time that used to say (somewhere around the 4^th or 5^th time we did the song), “Now THAT is the song.” You just knew when you sang and played it live that the song was done. And, typically, forever after that was the way you played and sang the song.

Even so, songs change. I always tell people that every time you incorporate a different musician into the band, the band’s sound will change. It is inevitable. That new person brings a slightly different (and sometimes radically different) presence that turns the song and sound in a different direction.

I accept these things. Because I am a musician and I love the twists and turns that live music takes. I try not to restrict myself or place myself in a box.  Just because I like change. I like dynamics. I like watching things become something new.  I like hearing how music can be presented in a different way that I didn’t even think of.

I’ve never been a big fan of “Do it just like the record.” WHY???? OK yes I get that the solo to “Together Again” is amazing. But is that the only amazing solo that could be played for that song? One of my favorite Merle Haggard’s songs is “I Forget You Every Day”. There are 2 very different versions of this song. I have one that I adore. But if he had just stuck with the way he did it on the record, I never would have fallen in love with the song.

Someone posted a live video of me recently singing a song for the 2^nd time in my life. I didn’t completely know the words. We didn't commit to singing oohs or playing twin fiddles. I was critical of watching myself in it. And I stopped. It’s a snapshot. A picture of what the song was at that time. When you hear me sing it in a month or so, it will be perfection. . . . or maybe it will only be another snapshot – not because it doesn’t sound perfect, but because I may sing it with some other group and it will just change it and make it sound different.

I recently met with a business owner (through my day job) and she said, “I tell my employees, ‘I do not expect perfection, but I do expect excellence.'” I LOVED IT.

If you demand “perfection” of yourself and those around you, I feel sorry for you. You are cheating yourself of the ability to move in a different direction. You are cheating yourself of the ability to become a different you – maybe not necessarily better, but different.

Try something new. Do something you have never done before. Fall down. Mess up. Look like an idiot. Get embarrassed. Post the picture without makeup and messy hair. But don't stop yourself because of imperfection. Allow yourself to give in to what it is asking of you. Allow yourself to take something from it and make it uniquely your own.

Do it well. But only as well as you can. You’re not perfect. And honestly, why would you want to be? When excellent is so beautiful already.

 

I meant to post this a week ago, but Life seems to continually get in my way. Maybe it is appropriate timing since yesterday was my brother's birthday and today is mine (we are Irish twins - born 364 days apart)....

BUT HAD TO GIVE A HUGE THANK YOU SHOUT OUT to my Mom and Dad who put me and my kids up 2 weeks ago during "Dropped-Ceiling-Gate". It was good and bad like everything. We were displaced. I was trying to deal with buying a house and interviewing for a promotion at my day job. I had all the kids. Their Dad was out of town on tour. And as it turns out, I received a tremendous blessing. I watched my boys play guitar. On their own. With their grandfather. Playing songs. Learning chords. Learning licks. I heard my oldest daughter sing songs while her brother played the guitar. I heard my youngest daughter make up songs using some melody that just happened to go with whatever her brother was playing.

 

Somehow, music has always brought my family together. During those strange high school years when you can't relate to anyone (and especially yourself), my Dad would have us play bluegrass at Oprys or local venues.  Trust me, there was whining involved. But when we got onstage, we all came together. And sometimes Joel would just sit around the house and pick the guitar – maybe some old song like "Lodi" or some new song on the radio. And me and Hilary would sit there and sing. Or listen.

 

If you have ever lost someone close to you, then you understand infinite grief. Soul-wrenching grief. The kind that grabs your gut and doesn't let go. And all it takes is just one memory. One smell. One sound. And it all comes back again. The loss. The missing them all over again.

 

I cannot explain why, but my brother's death changed my family in a way that has pulled us apart. I do not judge it, as I try not to judge anything in life that is a consequence of emotion. But somehow, just as inexplicable, sitting around the living room hearing my kids make music brought us just a little bit closer together.

 

As we watched the ceiling fall and the house we are about to leave literally cave in on us, I told my kids, "Remember that everything happens for a reason." I do not know why Joel died. I do not know the reason and I doubt that I ever will. But I explained to my kids later that good things always come out of bad things. No matter what is happening, things will eventually get better. I told them to never give up hope.

 

I still don't know the good that came from my brother's death. Maybe it's too soon to understand. Maybe I am not ready to see those things yet. But I do know that there is good. Just like there is bad. And there is hope.

 

Today I celebrate another birthday. Another year of Life. Another year of happiness and sadness, successes and disappointments, love lost and love found. Here's to Life. To Hope. To all of the good and bad. I say it's totally worth it.

 

 

Peace

When any kind of catastrophe hits, "wrath of God" comments inevitably are made. The divine side of our humanity always looks for the answer of "Why?" We look around at destruction and as we try to start over, pick up pieces, rebuild and even, tragically, bury our dead, we wonder, "What needed to be destroyed? What needed to be washed away? Why did we have to start over?

I do not believe these are bad questions (of course, I am always the philosopher so I do not feel any questions are bad questions) but it is always interesting to me the answers that some people find. Wouldn't it be nice to wash away all of the liberals? Or the conservatives? Or the sinners? Or the hypocrites? Or whoever it is that gets under your skin that you wish would go away (an ex-boyfriend, perhaps)?

God or Mother Nature or the Universe or Whatever You Call It is not discriminating. It does not care about gender or religious preference or political leanings or sexual persuasion or age. The floods that are devastating Texas have wiped out have claimed victims as young as 4 and 6 and as old as 73.

So WHY? Why do we fight so hard for life and love and have to watch it destroyed?

For me there is no one answer. Each of us has to find the answer inside of ourselves. For one person, they will look down the road and be in a new home and look back and miss things but see that it was for the best. For another person, they will miss their son or their husband but will be able to find blessings in Life and Love again and maybe feel a strength that they didn't have before. For some of us, we look at the things in our lives that need to be cleansed and washed away and realize that once those are gone, we can truly start to rebuild and find healing.

I wrote the following song in a couple of different contexts. I was working out of town and driving in the rain and thinking about the relationship I was in and all of the problems we were having and how it was just a freaking mess and it seemed like everything I tried to do to "fix" it didn't seem to make a difference. I started the first part – "There's a storm raging loud outside my window, but it's not half as loud as the one we've got inside. . . ."  I can't remember how much I wrote but Hurricane Ike came along shortly after and I went to Galveston about 6 months after and was struck by how much debris and damage was still left from the storm. I thought about storms and being in a storm in a relationship and how, like a hurricane, when it's happening, there's not anything that you can do. The lights go out. The winds and the rains rage. And all you can do is just watch it happen. . . . But after the storm – when the raging is over and the calm is back, THAT is when you can pick up the pieces and rebuild. You will never have what you once had. Storms forever change you – especially the bad ones. But hopefully, you are stronger and ready to go through the next one remembering that storms never last and you can always rebuild.

Donate to the Red Cross at www.redcross.org and I wish everyone in Texas and anyone around the world who is going through or getting over a storm – PEACE.  

 

Fly

My 5 year old daughter wakes up every morning jumping out of the door excited to see what the world has to offer her. Granted, she lives in a fantasy world most of the time – monsters surround us, passwords are necessary to open doors and we can be crowned as princesses in an instant. I have many times wondered why she was given to me. I already had 3 kids. My youngest was 8. I really wasn't looking for another child. These days I wonder if she is with me because she reminds me that the world constantly has gifts to offer if we will only open our eyes and look. Small gifts surround us. Large gifts occasionally surface – surprises from the cosmos to help us have faith and hope. I haven't blogged in awhile. I haven't written a full song in a year. If you have been a fan for awhile you know the silence from me is unusual. I have been in a cage. Unable to sing. Unable to speak. I allowed this to happen so I blame no one but myself. I am stepping toes and fingers outside of my cage. And maybe I will one day again fly.  There are things to say. There are songs to sing.

Leaving the Game

I went to my second Astros game this season last night.  I’ve watched baseball my whole life. My dad is an avid sports fan (and I mean all sports) and my very first job was working the concession stand at my brother’s little league game. I know baseball.

For some reason, the concept of the relief pitcher struck me last night.  I love “A League of Their Own” and the “There’s no crying in baseball” concept.  As a woman, I’m pretty sure, I couldn’t be a pitcher. They would pull me off the field in the 7^th inning (or sooner if the other team was scoring off of me) and I would sit in the dugout wondering what I did wrong, analyzing every aspect of what I did, kicking myself for all of my mistakes. . . . a man just sits in the dugout. Because it’s time. It’s time to leave the game.

In our crazy, rat raced society, we push ourselves to our limits and we push everyone around us. We think we can just work harder, push more and we will get what we want. We forget that there are times when we just need to give up and leave the game.  And, more importantly, we need to remember that leaving the game doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or that you are less of a person. Sometimes it’s just time to leave.

The pitcher’s arm gets tired. He’s no longer throwing strikes. It’s just time to go. Let someone else come in and take over – someone with a fresh arm and high energy.

Letting go isn’t easy. There’s a reason we have arms – we want to hold onto things. We want to stay. Our human spirit wants to continue to try to win and overcome. But sometimes it is time. It is time to leave. It is time to go.

I had a writer tell me that leaving is a huge theme in my songs, and it certainly is. For a lot of reasons.

Today, let go. Let go of hurt. Let go of pain. Let go of a thing. Let go of a person. Let go of a dream. Let go of a goal. The pitcher can’t stay on the mound for forever. Whether the coach pulls him out or the game has ended, he has to leave. It just IS. There is no good or bad. It just IS.

Why? You cannot move on without letting go. The pitcher walks to the dugout. He rests. He cheers on his teammates. He finds himself in a different place. Not bad, not good just different.

It’s time. It’s time to leave.

Miss Leslie Nominated for Best Country Act in Houston

Voting ends July 31, 2014:

http://musicawardspoll.houstonpress.com/

Thank you, Houston!

Value

I blogged a couple of years ago about one of those reality shows about junk. “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure”, right? My friend Jack Edwards is a collector. He loves antique cars and music. I love going to his place and just looking around. And everything has a story.

I had another friend that used to talk to people at bars about musicians.  I would always giggle at the looks on people’s faces when he would talk to them about some guitar or steel player like they were this big deal and the person he was talking to didn’t even recognize the name of the musician they played for.  Don’t get me wrong – Jake Hooker and Gary Carpenter are amazing musicians. But John Doe at the local bar has no idea who the heck they are. But to my friend – they were the equivalent of George Strait and the Ace in the Hole Band.

Value. Today I am thinking about value. Value is what YOU assign to a person, place or thing. It doesn’t matter what someone else assigns to it or what they think about it.

Did you ever talk to someone about buying something and they had a firm number that they would not back down from?  For some reason they assigned a value that could not be changed in their mind. Was that the item’s actual worth? Probably not – but they personally imprinted a number to that thing.

Value seems to me to be somehow tied to the heart and feelings. You love some piece of jewelry or shirt or song because it reminds you of some place and time or someone that you cared about. Or even negatively, something becomes of little value to you because it reminds you of someone or something that you hate.

Today I am thinking about value and assigning myself a number higher than I ever have in the past. For a lot of reasons.

Anthem

I started running again this week. I forgot how much it centers me. Well, I think I just ignored it. . . . when I start off for a run, I walk to the end of my street where there is our neighborhood park. The first thing I do is plug in my earphones to my iPhone and pull up my Workout playlist. I always start off with the same song – “Free” by Bonnie Bishop. I call it my Anthem.

“I see the light shining in my eyes
I feel something stirring up down deep inside
Is it my broken heart coming back to life?

I never knew that I could just let go
I thought the pain was out of control
But I surrendered my fears and I realized I’ve got peace of mine

That’s how I know I’m free
I feel a change coming over me
That’s how I know I’m free
Now that these chains are falling off of me and I’m free. FREE.

The one thing you can’t get from somebody else is the love that you’ve got to give to yourself
And when you find it you’ll stand up on your own.
And I’m standing on my own.

That’s how I know I’m free
I feel a change coming over me
That’s how I know I’m free
Now that these chains are falling off of me and I’m free. FREE.

Free to be all that I want to be
Free to be all that I was meant to be

“I see the light shining in my eyes
I feel something stirring up deep inside
Is it my broken heart coming back to life? Cause I feel alive

That’s how I know I’m free
I feel a change coming over me
That’s how I know I’m free”

It is a song of release. Release from the past – not necessarily getting out of a relationship but from all of your personal fears and insecurities and demons that keep you down and keep you from being authentic to YOU.

I recently had to go through the last 5 years of my life. Every detail had to be reviewed. I postponed it for forever. I thought it would be horrible. It wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong – there were painful memories I thought about. But there was a lot of good. Some great times. Fun times. Moments where I discovered something about myself or rediscovered all over again.

Center and balance is a necessary component to my life. If I stay too far in one direction, it takes me too far away from who I am. For me, it is not a good feeling. So although Life pulls me away from doing things all the time that center me, I try to get back to those things that bring me back to my Self. 

I think I’ll keep running for awhile.

(oh yeah and buy that album of Bonnie's called "Free" - AMAZING Album)