And I'm Free

So I'm continuing my recent trend of watching documentaries about rock bands.... Last night I watched the documentary about the band Chicago. Regardless of whether you like their music, it is a fascinating tale of uber-talented musicians creating their own music, rising to fame, and fighting to continue to create their own sound.

The band was left reeling after the death of Terry Kath, the lead singer and guitar player and (in their words), the primary "motivator and driving force" of the band.  A new producer came into play and Peter Cetera stepped forward as lead singer.  It changed the sound of the band. Horns were less important. And the founding members felt lost and unhappy. And then Peter Cetera left the band.

And the band morphed again. But what I took away from their story centers around the quotes from various members that I'd like to share:

"We needed a departure."

"It's not gonna stay the same. It's gotta be different. It's gotta go somewhere."

"I don't care what they [the critics] think."

"It's cyclical. You just do your best work and don't self-destruct. It all comes back around. You just stay and survive."

"A writer writes always."

This is a journey. We are not static. We are dynamic. We are MEANT to be that way. We start as a tiny infant and live to become upright beings. We begin with smooth, soft skin and morph into aged, spotted, wrinkled skin. We begin unable to talk and grow to express the understanding, knowledge and wisdom of a lifetime. We should evolve. We have to. Nature expects it from us.

So why do we fight it? Why do we fear change and growth and difference and the possibility of uniqueness, when every cell in our body compels us to do it?

From my earliest remembrances, all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. There is this part of my soul that was destined to be a mother. And I had that. In 1999, I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And, to this day, I tell her that she changed my life. Not because she was my first child, but because, for the first time, I saw myself in someone else. I saw myself as a child. I saw who I truly was and what I truly wanted and needed. I realized when she was very young that I was much more than a mother. I was meant to be something else. I knew that music was a strong part of that. But I did not realize until much later that there was even more.

I have to change. I need to change. I must change. Because it is natural. It is part of who I am and what I am. As a human being. I am a mother. I am a singer. I am a violinist (or fiddle player if you prefer). I am an intellectual. I am a writer. I am a teacher. I am a computer specialist. I am a chef. And in all of this I change. I grow. I learn. I evolve.

I can't fight growing older. I can't fight the skin that sags, the grey in my hair, the tension in my joints, the decreasing hearing and vision. So why would I fight a change in Self? Why would I fear the soul that seeks the same evolution as my physical shell?

So. Who are you? What are you fighting and why do you fear a change in your soul? What if, instead of just surviving, you embraced your Self? What if you allowed the wrinkles to form and the grey to multiply and see just what person you would be?

I no longer attempt to attain or achieve anything. I want to simply be who I am. And live that - without apology and without excuse or explanation. If you could live who YOU are, who would that be? What would you say or do differently than you say or do now?

You are free. Free to change. Free to grow. So change. Grow. Your body does it. Now let your soul.

Peace.

 

Comments

[Todd Schumacher]

It’s only a suggestion simply because I enjoyed it so much.
There is a gig with Jack a White, The Edge, and Jimmy Paige.
They are discussing “guitars”. Awesome documentary type show.
“It Might Get Loud”. Very cool! Sincerely, Todd